Two and a half years ago a very close friend of mine introduced me to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
I’ve always been very involved in all types of sports and thought it would be easy and quick to learn. I am short, and not very big in posture. Good in sports like gymnastics and athletics, and yes, both are not “keep your body fluid and less rigid” types of sports. They are the opposite.
Initially I joined (in my head) to kick my friend’s ass as I thought I would immediately be good at it. I am a bit competitive. My friend on the other hand, being a purple belt at that stage, wanted me to join due to various other reasons that I only found out about as my journey unfolded.
So, for those who don’t know Brazilian jiu-jitsu often abbreviated to BJJ or jits, is a self-defence martial art and combat sport based on grappling, ground fighting, and submission holds. It is not as easy to learn as it sounds or looks like, on the contrary, it is insanely (and I use this word because I can’t swear) difficult.
I’ve been doing it for almost two and a half years now and I have cried more as a white belt than I ever did in primary school when I thought my mom forgot me at school. I am a “very hard on myself” type of individual and I am used to positive, to my advantage outcomes, if I work hard and I put the time in. That is not the case with BJJ. Or it is, to some degree.
I really struggled. I wanted to quit so many times not least of which due to the information overload - who in this world can remember all those techniques?! I felt defeated.
My personality and the way I function is fast, very energetic and a bit rough. I used to only play with boys at school as I often ( and by accident) hurt the girls because I played too hard and rough. I grew up on a farm, I am wild and rough and I play hard.
So initially jiu jitsu felt like something I will not get the hang of. I was too tense, I held on too tight, I was too frantic and too rough. I couldn’t flow and I couldn’t relax and hold on less tight. (And I am not saying that I am doing it now) My white belt journey was tough.
I started of with private classes, only myself and the coach. If you are a female and you are starting BJJ for self-defence purposes and you are, for whatever reason, not that comfortable with men in your personal space my advice would be to get a gym and a coach that you trust and feel comfortable with. BJJ is a very, very close contact sport. If you are not comfortable or you do not feel comfortable with the individuals in your gym your journey will be even harder.
When I got my second stripe on white I started attending classes with the senior belts, mostly men, and big heavy men at that. Men that have been doing BJJ for 10 years plus, senior belts that can eat me up for breakfast.
I trusted them and they were really fantastic mentors. (They still are) I was clearly out of my depth when I was around them, but I never felt scared or unsafe or uncomfortable. They were very supportive and encouraging.
My weight and size (and off course my lazy hips) is something I believe to be a massive disadvantage when rolling with the average individual doing jiu jitsu. Your game needs to be fast, cause most of them are not that fast, they are strong and heavy. You need to not let them get on top in such a way that you are flat on your back and you have to (and in my case, try your ass off) to be fluid, and heavy, like a wet blanket. There’s a ton of other stuff as well- believe me.
I remember the day I got my blue belt, it was such an amazing day. It felt so unreal and such a massive achievement for me as an individual. I really thought I would stay a white belt forever. I think blue, for me, is less stressful. I enjoy it more as if there is less pressure.
I mean the journey is long, we all know that.
But for now, I enjoy blue.
I don’t feel as if I know more than I did as a white three stripe, but I enjoy it more. And it is only now that I see the benefits the sport has, the reasons why Ebrahim wanted me to start. Its only now that I see the growth it has initiated. Growth way beyond the obvious.
Personal growth.
And so, my journey to purple has started, luckily by now I know it won’t be quick and it won’t be easy but it will be worth it. And at the end I will harvest way more than I ever planted.
Do I know everything? Hell no.
Do I forget more than what the coach teaches me? Of course yes.
Do I sometimes lose courage? Almost once a week.
Do I learn something about myself? Yes, with every class.
Do I enjoy it? More that you can imagine.
Will I one day kick my friend’s ass? I certainly will!!
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